OMFG

Ugh, I'm useless at keeping this up. I might just turn it into an outfit blog, but then I may as well make a Tumblr. Uuuuuugh.

Lately...

So what's been happening lately? Well things may be a bit out of order because the days all seem to merge together here.
I went to Timaru with "Arab" and a few others. It was payday so I spent a bit. Ate some really good Thai food. It's actually a cute little town, I wish I'd had more chance to explore the beach area.
"Doe" (whose house I stayed at the other night) and I haven't really hung out or talked much since I stayed over, could be because he got a new girlfriend or got back with his ex, but not sure why that would affect me but whatever, I'm not too fussed.
Funny story, I got asked out. "Butcher" stopped me one morning while I was going to get my uniform and I was so surprised I basically just said "What? Maybe" and ran off. Haha, oops. But it's nice to know I still have "it", whatever "it" is.
There was a masquerade party this Saturday gone, I wore one of my favourite dresses and a mask I bought online. Well I mostly ended up carrying it around most of the night. I talked for a bit to "Hipster" and ended up spending a good amount of time talking to "Butcher". He's a really interesting guy and I would fully go for him if I wasn't already taken. Except for the smoking, that's a big turn off.
We hung out after work tonight, he wants to end up being a florist but has also been interested in fashion design of all things. I showed him some lolita stuff and he really likes it which is awesome.
He's invited me to his hometown to expolre an abandoned hospital, now that would be awesome!

In regards to work and allergies, well I usually do at least 9 hours a day, today it was a bit more than 10. Haven't done an 11 hour day yet thank goodness. But all the time I feel like I can't get enough sleep, even if I sleep for 10 hours. The work is fairly easy really, at least I'm finding it pretty easy. I still have to ask a few questions but I don't think I've really fucked anything up. I'm starting to get stuffy sinuses from the dairy so I've ordered gut repair powder and I think I'll look into getting lactase pills if my naturopath doesn't object to them. My feet are fine apart from eczema which could be related to dairy, or unbreathing chef clogs.

I really miss my family, my house, my dogs, my bedroom, and especially "Birdy". I miss having the convenience of everything so close! But I'll tough it out a while longer here, try to save a lot of money.
Ugh it's after 2am, time to go to bed.

My new job.. as a pastry chef?!

So I got laid off from my last job. And spent like 2 months doing nothing. Nothing in the sense that I spent more time with my beloved boyfriend and more time at home. So I applied for dozens of jobs. Probably like 3 dozen. And not all chef jobs. I applied for a few up north. And one down south.
A couple of rejection emails, a couple of failed phone calls, many unreplied to applications, an interview with no follow up call, a trial with no follow up call, and I get a rejection email from the hotel in the south. I think "crap" and move on, getting more and more depressed, having panic attacks, getting on the big downward spiral.
Then, a call. Irish accent, really hard to understand, but "I'm from the H Hotel". Uh, what? I got a rejection email? What's going on? "You meet all my criteria." Say what?
So a bit over a month speeds by, I'm spending as much time as possible with my fantastic boyfriend, spending like a grand on things I need to buy before I leave.
Saying goodbye to my boyfriend was hard. Very very hard. I know he hates me crying so I managed to stave it off until right before I got on the plane.
Driving out to the hotel, reality sets in about how far away it is, bring on loads of tears and panic.
I guess it's beautiful out here, but I've grown up with scenes like this and I just can't seem to appreciate views like this. Call me unappreciative.
My first week here I think I cried just about every day and I hated it. After working 7 days in a row I was fed up, hating everything, felt no hope, no inspiration, no need to stay but had nothing to go back home to. Got into such an extraordinary mood for me that I was throwing things and screaming, very unlike me. Had a bit of a slip with one of my knives while sharpening it and got calm again, went down to reception incase it needed stitches, it didn't.
Next day on my day off had my section head chef, the head chef, the HR guy, the operations manager and the general all come talk to me. And then when I got back to work everyone had heard.
There was a staff party I went to. I hung out with mostly the chefs, it was good getting talking to them. A few got pretty trashed, I had a few. One walked me back to my house and next thing I know there's rumours flying around. All untrue.
More days at work, it's getting monotonous already. I'm so sick of the pastry chefs already, I much prefer the company of the a la carte savoury chefs. One asked me to give him a massage because his back hurt. He and some others picked me up and I went and drank with them, stayed the night. Nothing happened but again more rumours.
I really miss home, and seeing my boyfriend. And my pretty bedroom. On the allergy note I need to stop picking at the chocolate cups and cookies because it isn't doing me well.
It's frustrating not having tv or internet in my room, so I spend most of my days off doing washing and watching tv on internet.
Might go have a drink, see if the guy with the same birthday needs help with his back again.
I don't know if I'll manage to stay the full 6 months, it seems an awful long time even though I'm only 2 weeks into it. But apparently they do loads of competitions and I'd love to do those again.
So much to think about.
And I'd really like to know where my boyfriend and I are going in our relationship. If, when I get back, we will just go back to spending a few nights at each others houses and having opposing days off and all that. Maybe if there was some sort of direction or if he showed some signs of wanting something even just a little more than a few nights a week together...
I don't know, time to head off for a lil drink, not a late one though, have a 9am shift tomorrow, ugh.
It's dark now, I can't see the mountains anymore. Time to go.

Bad Blogger

Okay so I've been a terrible blogger.
Very very bad.
I got distracted with work and life and boyfriend and stuff.
I will try very hard to start posting stuff again once I have my appetite back.
I went badly off track for a few months and got another sinus infection, stupid, my fault.
I will do better.
Just bear with me and give me a little more time.

Carrot Cake and Excuses

So far the year has been pretty alright. I know we're two full months into it now and this is my first post for year year (oops) but life does this thing where it just gets by you.

I've been a little slack lately with my baking. Oops again, no excuses really. I could say I'm not baking in an effort to be healthier, but that's just a convenient excuse. However this cake could almost pass as healthy.

Carrot Cake

1 cup raw sugar (mucho better for you than the super refined and bleached white granulated sugar)
1 cup veggie oil (I used rice bran oil, I guess it's better for you than butter, and it keeps the cake much more moist)

3 eggs

1 1/3 cups wholemeal flour (same with the sugar, better than the refined bleached stuff. Also more fibre)
1 1/3 tsp baking powder
1 1/3 tsp baking soda
1 1/3 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp all spice (my addition)
2 cups grated carrot (about 2 medium sized carrots, but just a rough measurement, don't be using 2 and 3 eights of a carrot)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (I used pumpkin seeds instead, we didn't have any walnuts and pumpkin seeds are cheaper and go further)

Preheat oven to 180C.
Grate your carrots and chop your nuts.

Mix the sugar and oil together.
Beat in the eggs one at a time.

Sift the dry ingredients together then mix into the oil and egg mix, don't overbeat. In fact, probably better to leave it with a few lumps of dry mix showing through than over beating it.
Add the carrot and walnuts (or pumpkin seeds) and fold in. Your last little bits of dry mix should get mixed in during this stage too.
Pour into a greased and/or lined round cake tin, I used an 8 or 8 1/2 inch. Level if you need to.
Bake it.
My recipe said 70 minutes, it lied. I took it out at 50 and it was already well done. Well, not too well done, but the edge was crunchy but it was darn tasty. I like a bit of crunch with my cake.

Bourbon Yoghurt

1/2 cup plain natural yoghurt (isn't yoghurt better for you than ice cream, cream, or cream cheese icing?)
1 very heaped teaspoon of icing sugar
1 tsp - 2 tbsp bourbon

Mix all together. Sugar and bourbon to taste.
You could use any other boozy or vanilla or whatever, but I thought the bourbon went with the flavour and spices of the cake.

I dusted the cake with icing sugar, then served it with the yoghurt on the side. My family then promptly smothered the rest of the cake with cream cheese icing. Dumb.

Impending doom, and Pistachio Shortbread

It's my 21st party in under a week. I won't be 21 on the day, but because my actual birthday is so close to Christmas, it's kind of impossible to have a party on my actual birthday.

As you can probably imagine I'm excited and nervous, but also I'm dreading it.

It's exciting to be having so many of my family, and hopefully a lot of my friends, all in the one place because of me, celebrating something with me. There will be great food, good conversations, bangin' music, maybe a bit of dancing, and a bit of booze flowing.

Nervous because I hope it all goes well.

The impeding doom is another thing.

My sisters.

I get it. I'm on the outside when it comes to my sisters. I'll admit I prefer one to the other, but I know they prefer to be with each other than with me. They both are into art and stuff like that, one art history and the theory behind it, the other is an artiste. And me? I don't really care much about art. It looks pretty or it doesn't. I think food is an art - the science behind it, the creation of it, the presentation of it. If everything we ate was just brown slop on our plates, no matter the taste, no one would get excited about food. I love to hear people comment on how beautiful a cupcake or a decorated chocolate looks, I love to hear "Wow, you made that?!"

It makes my day.

Anyway, why I'm dreading the combination of my sisters and my 21st party.

Traditionally there are speeches at 21st parties. I know I wasn't a nice kid a fair bit of the time. I know I was a pain in the butt teenager. But I'm different now, I'm a lot more mature and calmer. I don't want that stuff brought up because that just isn't who I am anymore. It will embarrass me. And that is what my sisters do.

Pistachio Shortbread

I love these biscuits. I made something very much like them when I did some work experience at a major hotel in town a year and a half ago (OMG was it THAT long ago?!). Then a few months ago I went looking for a similar recipe to try and recreate them and I found this.

I was so nervous going to this work experience. I was so worried about screwing up and embarrassing myself, but it ended up being so much fun, I can only hope my 21st party will be the same, pleasantly suprised.

The lemon zest cuts through the butter and brightens the biscuit, making you able to eat a whole tray full of them.

250g butter

3/4 cup icing sugar

2 1/2 cup plain flour

70g pistachios chopped

Zest of one lemon

Cream the butter and icing sugar until it is pale and fluffy.

Mix in sifted flour - at this point mine looked like sweet pastry before you add the egg, I had some coconut milk left over so added a couple of small spoonfuls of the thick part to the dough so it just started to come together. Not sure if it was the right thing to do but it ended up being fine.

Add the pistachios and lemon zest. Mix. The original recipe called for the pistachios to be toasted, which would have brought out the nutty flavour a bit more but I didn't bother, and for them to be finely chopped, but I like being able to see the nuts and the texture when they are only roughly chopped.

Turn out and shape into four logs, you may want to lightly flour your bench first.

Wrap in baking paper and/or gladwrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

With a sharp knife slice 8mm (or however thick/thin you like) rounds and place on a baking tray. Bake at 160C for about 15 minutes. You want them to be firm, but not browned like mine, then again I liked the extra crunch.

Coconut Ice Cream and Chocolate Sauce

Coconut Vanilla Ice Cream

1 can coconut milk

2 egg yolks (one of my eggs was a double yolker, so I guess I used three)

1/4 cup sugar

Vanilla essence to taste (or anything else you may like)

Heat your coconut milk in a bowl over a pot of simmering water, until it is hot but not boiling. You can add your flavourings at this stage, so the flavours really infuse with the c/milk.

While the c/milk is heating, separate your yolks and mix with the sugar. Don't leave the sugar sitting on your yolks while you go do something else, because if you leave it sitting unmixed then a chemical reaction will start to take place where your egg yolks start to get cooked. So mix first. Mix until pale and creamy.

When your c/milk is hot enough pour a small ladle of the hot c/milk into your egg yolk mix and whisk together. Add the rest of your c/milk to the egg mix, whisking all the time, then return to the bowl over the pot of simmering water.

Stir the mix until it coats the back of a wooden spoon. This means that when you lift the spoon out of the mix and run your finger along, the mix is thick enough that it doesn't run and the line where you swiped your finger remains. It's ready.

At this point you can strain (helpful if you used something like vanilla pods or lavender) into a cold bowl and leave to cool, or place the bowl that was over the pot into another with ice and cold water in the bottom. This stops your mix continuing to cook and cools it down.

Wait until mix is cool/cold. Can put in the fridge to help once it has cooled sufficiently.

At this point you can put it into your fancy pants ice cream maker machine thing, or do it my way. Old school yo.

Place in freezer until it has just started to freeze around the edge. Then mix with your hand mixer. Repeat for about 3 or four hours (tip: do this on a day where you will be home all day. Don't start at 8.30 at night or when you have school/work the next day).

Freeze over night.

Ice cream!

It might not be as smooth or light/airy as normal ice cream, but that is because bought icecream has been churned constantly while being frozen so has had the air fully incorporated into the mix.

I know it seems super complicated, but really it's easy! Just time consuming!

Super Easy Yummy Chocolate Sauce

1 Tbsp Butter

2 Tbsp sugar

1/2 Tbsp custard powder (I accidently used 1 Tbsp, but I still thought it was super delicious, your choice what you do really)

1 Tbsp cocoa

1/2 cup water

Melt butter in microwave. Mix in rest of ingedients. Cook in microwave until thick (mine took about a minute/a minute, 30 on high).

I then beat in with a fork about a teaspoon of extra butter and some raspberry liqueur. Nom.